October 2010, marked the seventh month since I left my ex company, my first ever job, my bunch of good friends whom I've worked/played hard with for four years. All our laughters, tears, ups and downs were shared together and suddenly, they're all gone.
My mom used to say, "Out of sight, out of mind" to me whenever I'm away from home and if I ever forgot to return a phone call. Sometimes I would be busy, sometimes..well yeah perhaps I stray a little. But the thing is, I believe distance does make people grow apart, no matter how much you put an effort in keeping in touch. At least that's what I think.
I miss my old job, I miss my bunch of crazy coliqs. Period. That place had been like a second home to me, if you guys know what kinda working hours we endured. But, regardless the torments and endless last minute orders from The Boss, we love working together, because we worked hard and played hard and shared all the failures and sweet success together. That's what it is all about. I found my 'place', somewhere I totally belong, and the job I love to do.
Seven months seem to make everything go away like it's been seven years. And being pregnant at this very time didn't help much because I was constantly being so emotional. Eg: Not liking my job, can't find my sense of belonging at this foreign new environment (although some of the peeps here are extremely nice). I missed everything I used to do. People who used to be closed to me are now good friends with others. Who am I to blame, my physical self is apparently missing, and a phone call or Skype don't seem like the best alternative to share stories. It is then that I feel really disappointed, regretful, hurt and very sorry for myself for how things turned out.
I just wish things would be better, a new year and exciting year in 2011. I can't wait to embrace all the good things that are to come (I hope), especially Junior, whom I can't wait to hold. I need to find myself, my sense of belonging, my confidence, my happiness and my success again.
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